Internet, Meet Bonjour Beige

I painted my bathroom again last night. I think the new color is a little less "The '60s called; they want their paint color back" and a little more "Please buy me when Kim puts her house on the market." What do you think? Too boring?

If She Weren't My Sister I Might Break Up with Her

Last night my sister and her husband came over for dinner. As usual, Schmath played with Liam the entire time he was awake. It wasn’t until after I put him to bed that I noticed the stuffiness in Schmath’s voice.

My insides started panicking because I’m paranoid about Liam getting sick, but since Schmath is completely aware of my fear of sickness I trusted that her nasal voice was in my imagination. I calmly asked her about it, and guess what her response was. “I think I’m getting a cold, but I didn’t want to tell you because I knew you wouldn’t let me play with Spiz.”

Nice, Schmath.

Have I Made a Horrible Mistake?

If you pick your paint color when you're hungry and then end up with Cookie Crumb, you might regret your decision.

Before:


After:

Not the World's Best Shopper

Today Liam and I went to Costco, which is normally a thousand times better than going to the regular grocery store because of a) samples, and b) churros for $1, but ever since my New Year’s Resolution it’s not that cool to go to Costco on a Thursday.

As we strolled by the snacks section, I came across several foods that I had never considered for Liam, including graham crackers. I weighed my options. I could buy the huge box of 324654987 crackers for $5.99 or I could go to the regular grocery store and buy the regular box for like a dollar, right? I didn’t know whether Liam would even like them, so I put the giant box back and kept shopping.

On my way home I stopped at the regular grocery store because I was too excited about graham crackers. I was convinced that Liam would love them. I found the small box of graham crackers, but as it turned out they cost $3.99—not $1. That’s when I started regretting my decision to put back the giant box at Costco.

I bought the mini box and went home, but when I unloaded my trunk I realized that I had never actually put the Costco graham crackers back on the shelf. I bought the giant box AND the expensive box, and so far Liam has eaten ¾ of one cracker.

Grocery Shopping Is for the Birds

I’ve been home from my 3 ½-week vacation for 8 days now, and I still haven’t gone grocery shopping. Sure, Liam’s on his second gallon of milk and I bought some bread and even some bananas one time, but I got those at Target while I was shopping for a table lamp after I came home and realized that not only was it colder than Antarctica in Utah this week, but that even with all of the lights on you can’t see anything in my house. Ben claims he’s been trying to tell me this ever since we replaced all of our light fixtures with cool-looking (cheap) ones from Ikea, but I choose to believe that our house suddenly became gloomy. Or maybe I just got used to the sunshine.

I’m very intimidated by the grocery store, especially after a long trip. I haven’t made a list yet because I know it will be 4 pages long, and then I’ll remember 10 more things after I get home. I don’t know which is worse—pacing the aisles looking for all of the millions of items on my list or going listless and spending 3 hours at the store, wandering up and down every aisle, thinking about every product Mr. Albertson has to offer.

Ben keeps offering to go grocery shopping, but I know he’ll only come back with frozen burritos and ice cream.

Is it too early to start getting anxious for Liam to get his driver’s license?

It's -3 Degrees Outside and I'm Sunburned

Costa Rica is my new favorite country in the whole world. Where else can you sail to Tortuga Island one day…


Ride a zip line through the rainforest the next day…


See pelicans, giant lizards, sloths, and croissant-eating monkeys while hiking to the beach…

And visit an active volcano, complete with natural hot springs?

I can’t think of anywhere else. It’s official—Costa Rica is the coolest. I was totally unprepared for how awesome this vacation would be. I actually packed the same clothes I have been wearing in Utah this winter. Who knew that it would be 80 degrees and beautiful every single day?

Liam spent the week at my parents’ house, where he learned to make farting sounds with his mouth. I’m not sure what else he did there, but this morning he kept trying to put a rubber band around his head so I’m not going to ask.

Follow My Nose

When was the last time you had a toucan on your shoulder?

10 Cool Things that Happened on My Christmas Vacation

1. I visited all of my favorite stores that don’t exist in Utah (Ikea, the Sweet Factory, In-N-Out, Forever 21...).
2. A radio DJ introduced the song he had just played by the Sick Puppies and then said, “I think I’m going to lose it if I have to hear one more power ballad in ¾ time.” Funny.
3. We stripped the wallpaper in my parents’ family room, revealing the wall of memories underneath, where my friends and I had written all kinds of stuff the last time there was no wallpaper there.
4. I got to play music with one of my all-time favorite bands, the Boney Mountain Mamas.
5. Santa brought me my dream guitar.
6. I got to hang out with the cutest little momma’s boy in the world.



7. Ben told Ed-the-rocket-scientist that he would send him his résumé.
8. Liam learned how to give kisses. So sweet.
9. I made a New Year’s resolution to stop eating dessert on weekdays and I’ve already kept it for an entire week.
10. I’m leaving Liam in California and meeting Ben in Costa Rica tomorrow. See you later, suckers!