I Guess You Could Say We're Ford People

For about 8 months out of the year, I drive a teal Ford Escort. But, since I grew up in California and I still suck at driving in the snow, my husband and I switch cars during the winter because his car has 4-wheel drive. So for the past few weeks, I’ve been driving his Ford Explorer.

Last night when I walked out of Albertson’s, I walked straight to the teal Escort in the closest parking spot and stuck my key in the lock. I opened the door and got in, and then realized that it smelled strongly of cigarette smoke. I looked around for whoever was smoking, but I didn’t see anyone in the parking lot. As I was setting my bag of groceries on the floor of the passenger seat, I noticed a black and yellow hairbrush. I didn’t think we had a black and yellow hairbrush, so I started to get suspicious. Then I noticed a pack of Kool cigarettes on the dash, and I KNOW we don’t smoke Kool cigarettes. We’re Marlboro people. Or…I’ve never smoked a cigarette in my life and I just had to do a Google search to make sure I spelled “Kool” and “Marlboro” correctly. So my first thought was that Ben was cheating on me, because I still haven’t totally gotten used to this whole marriage thing, which is totally different from the whole dating thing (where it was perfectly fine to cheat on your boyfriend because you’ll probably just break up in a few months anyway). Then, my second thought was that I WAS SITTING IN SOMEONE ELSE’S CAR, which was followed closely by my third thought: Why in the world does the key to my Explorer unlock the door to someone else’s Escort??? And then my fourth thought: Is the owner of this car watching me, and is he/she about to pull out his/her gun and shoot me for trying to steal his/her car? Then I remembered that I’m not in L.A. anymore. I’m in Utah, so if the owner was watching me, he/she was probably on his/her way over to make sure I had a key to the ignition, and then send me on my way with some canned food and toys and a warm holiday greeting.