How to Be Scolded by the Dentist

Every day when I get on the Internet, I’m greeted with a “How To” of the Day. I don’t know who came up with this, but he/she is a genius.

Just in the last week I’ve learned how to help a friend who gets arrested in the middle of the night, how to make a lava lamp with household ingredients, and my personal favorite—how to make dreadlocks.

I had to try making dreadlocks, even though I would never be able to keep them in long enough to become the real thing. In fact, I knew I would only want them for a day or two, so I had to adjust the instructions a little.

I went to the dentist on the day of the dreadlocks. I thought it would be perfect because he would see my hair and say to himself, “No wonder she has so much plaque. Look at her hair!” And then maybe he wouldn’t get after me about flossing more regularly because, you know…dreadlocks.

As it turns out, the dentist doesn’t care so much about hairstyles. I still got the lecture. And to top it off, I still have nasty, waxy, ratty Medusa hair that won’t cooperate after three days, four washings, and numerous hours of serious pleading.