In Utah right now we have radio ads for a new kind of non-invasive liposuction—a procedure so easy that you can go back to work the next day.
First you could get white teeth for a fee; now you can get skinny for a fee.
Am I going to be the last chubby girl with yellow teeth left on the planet?
Monday, November 16, 2009
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Mother of the Year
Yesterday I got Eliza up from her nap, only to find that she was holding a piece of a petrified roll that I had given her the night before at dinner. Yikes!
Then, I was telling Ben about it at dinner last night. I ended with something dramatic like, “She could have died!”
Liam became curious at this point, and started asking questions. After he figured out we were talking about Eliza and a piece of a roll, he asked, “And then she died?”
The poor kid would have been traumatized if he knew what the word “died” meant.
Then, I was telling Ben about it at dinner last night. I ended with something dramatic like, “She could have died!”
Liam became curious at this point, and started asking questions. After he figured out we were talking about Eliza and a piece of a roll, he asked, “And then she died?”
The poor kid would have been traumatized if he knew what the word “died” meant.
Saturday, October 31, 2009
Thursday, October 08, 2009
The Glass Is Half Full
Liam came down with the flu last night, so he had to miss his preschool’s field trip to the fire station this morning.
I was feeling really sorry for him, so I called my dad to get some pity. But the best he could come up with was, “At least you probably won’t get hit by a tsunami, and if you do, you’re up on the hill so you might be safe.” And then, after a short pause, “I don’t know where the tsunami will come from, but if it comes from the Pacific, just know that your mother and I loved you guys.”
A few minutes later I instant messaged Schmath to see if she had any sympathy for Liam, but all she said was, “At least he’s not allergic to hamburgers.”
I was feeling really sorry for him, so I called my dad to get some pity. But the best he could come up with was, “At least you probably won’t get hit by a tsunami, and if you do, you’re up on the hill so you might be safe.” And then, after a short pause, “I don’t know where the tsunami will come from, but if it comes from the Pacific, just know that your mother and I loved you guys.”
A few minutes later I instant messaged Schmath to see if she had any sympathy for Liam, but all she said was, “At least he’s not allergic to hamburgers.”
Tuesday, October 06, 2009
Chameleon Eyes
My brother, Jeff, recently moved to a tiny town on the border of Canada, because apparently he was sick of sunshine and civilization. We’re going to visit him this Christmas so we’ll always be grateful for our mild Utah winters.
Jeff called today while he and his wife were on their way to spinning lessons. “Really?” I asked. “The town’s too small for a gym, so someone gives private spinning lessons?” But actually, they just bought a spinning wheel and now they’re learning to spin wool. I said, “Wait…do you have sheep?” He answered, “No, but it’s a good thing to have, you know, in case we ever get some sheep.”
I asked him how cold it would be when we came for Christmas, and he answered, “It will probably be in the -20s, but then it could also be as warm as 0, so definitely bring your swim suits.”
Since we’ll be so close to Canada, we decided to get passports for Liam and Eliza so we can cross the border to go ice skating on the world’s biggest rink or spend a day in Montreal. But when I filled out the passport applications, I had to pick an eye color for Eliza. I don't think Eliza's eyes have made a final decision on color yet, but it's hard to tell which way they're going. Some days they're green; other days they're brown; sometimes they're even a little blue-ish.
What color would you have picked?
I went with gray.
Jeff called today while he and his wife were on their way to spinning lessons. “Really?” I asked. “The town’s too small for a gym, so someone gives private spinning lessons?” But actually, they just bought a spinning wheel and now they’re learning to spin wool. I said, “Wait…do you have sheep?” He answered, “No, but it’s a good thing to have, you know, in case we ever get some sheep.”
I asked him how cold it would be when we came for Christmas, and he answered, “It will probably be in the -20s, but then it could also be as warm as 0, so definitely bring your swim suits.”
Since we’ll be so close to Canada, we decided to get passports for Liam and Eliza so we can cross the border to go ice skating on the world’s biggest rink or spend a day in Montreal. But when I filled out the passport applications, I had to pick an eye color for Eliza. I don't think Eliza's eyes have made a final decision on color yet, but it's hard to tell which way they're going. Some days they're green; other days they're brown; sometimes they're even a little blue-ish.
What color would you have picked?
I went with gray.
Monday, September 28, 2009
The Most Annoying Difference Between Liam and Eliza
Back when Liam started eating solids, I bragged about how easy the "messy baby food stage" was. Now I look at this picture and I can't even believe I had the guts to feed him in a white shirt:
But it's not even dirty! He has an orange goatee and a couple microscopic spills on his bib, and that's it!
Now check out Eliza at the dinner table tonight:
I just hope she learns how to swallow before she goes on her first date. And I hope the fact that she grabs the spoon every single time it comes toward her isn't the beginning of a life-long power struggle between us.
But it's not even dirty! He has an orange goatee and a couple microscopic spills on his bib, and that's it!
Now check out Eliza at the dinner table tonight:
I just hope she learns how to swallow before she goes on her first date. And I hope the fact that she grabs the spoon every single time it comes toward her isn't the beginning of a life-long power struggle between us.
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Zoo Babies
Schmath and I went to the zoo yesterday because they were advertising their cute new baby elephant, Zuri:
But they also ended up having a cute baby giraffe:
And cute baby tigers:
Plus, they had some pretty cute baby humans:
But they also ended up having a cute baby giraffe:
And cute baby tigers:
Plus, they had some pretty cute baby humans:
Friday, September 18, 2009
Squash
Today Eliza is six months old, which is awesome because it means I’m half way done breastfeeding. So we celebrated with her first real taste of baby food.
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Tuesday, September 08, 2009
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