Things at Which I Do Not Excel, Part I

Cutting My Own Hair

And still I continue to do it. Every time. And without fail, I regret my decision every time. About once a year I even give myself bangs, and then I spend the rest of the year growing them out and wishing I had never cut them.

Last year I told Ben that if I ever threatened to cut bangs again, he should talk me out of it fast. So this year I had to come up with a long list of reasons why I needed bangs before Ben believed that I wouldn’t regret my decision.

I told him that I needed to cover up the silly little hairs that were growing in after a bunch fell out when Liam was born. Why did that happen, anyway?

Next I told him that my face was too long and too narrow at the top, and that bangs would make it seem shorter and less egg-shaped.

Then I told him that I just didn’t have enough bangs last time, and that’s why they looked funny. They were too thin.

Eventually Ben said, “Look, I don’t care what you do to your hair. I’m just saying what you told me to say.” So I gave myself bangs and guess what? I’m already regretting it. Luckily I cut about half my head into bangs this time, so it will look like a sweet mullet ALL YEAR LONG while it’s growing out.