They Paved Paradise and Put Up a Sweet Factory

Remember when Joni Mitchell said, “You don’t know what you’ve got till it’s gone”?

I used to work with some of my best friends at Mrs. Field’s in the mall, and Mrs. Field’s happened to be right next to the Sweet Factory. Every few weeks on my way to work I would stop by and get some of my favorite kind of candy—sour strawberry belts.

Then I moved to Utah and immediately went into withdrawal. For the last 4 ½ years I’ve been trying to figure out how Ben and I could start a Sweet Factory franchise. Whenever I read about a new mall or shopping center being built, I get a craving for that sour strawberry flavor and I beg Ben to help me find some investors. Today I found out that there’s an easier, cheaper way to get my hands on those yummy belts.

Check it out—they sell them online!

I'm Dreaming of a White Thanksgiving

Every year we go with Ben’s family to Snowbird for Thanksgiving. This year I got overly excited about Liam playing in the snow for the first time, so I bought him the whole get-up: bib overalls with a matching coat, snow boots, gloves, and a hat. I had all kinds of cute pictures in my head of Liam playing in the snow.

Surprise—there’s no snow at Snowbird yet this year. All of my dreams of snowy photos were shattered because guess what stayed in the suitcase all week?

Controversial Radio Show

Salt Lake’s biggest controversy right now is a radio station called FM 100. They play Christmas music from Labor Day to the end of the year. Christmas enthusiasts love it, non-enthusiasts don’t, and non-enthusiasts who work with enthusiasts who stream it online during work really hate it.

I haven’t had an opinion about the Christmas music marathon because it hasn’t affected me until now. A few weeks ago I found out that FM 100 plays Church music on Sundays. A girl’s got to have something to listen to before The Bluegrass Express starts, so I made the controversial station into one of my presets. On Monday my car stereo was still set to 100.3, so Oh Holy Night was playing when I got in. Normally I would probably change the station, but I decided to give it a chance. Now it’s two days later and my car stereo hasn’t changed. Don’t tell Ben (he’s in the category of non-enthusiasts who work with enthusiasts who stream FM 100 online during work), but I’m totally becoming a fan of Christmas music before Thanksgiving.

In Case You Were Wondering Whether Decorating Stores Were as Cool as Sporting Goods Stores

Yesterday Liam threw up in the middle of Tai Pan. Other than the newborn spit-up thing, it was his first time and I was totally unprepared for the whole experience.

As I stood there staring at him, wondering what I should do next and whether it would require getting my new vest dirty, no less than 400 women came out of nowhere with wads of paper towels, mini packages of Kleenex, and wet wipes, saying, “We’ve all been there” and “Poor little guy” and “What a sweetheart.”

Say what you want about stereotyping, but I just don’t think I would have gotten that kind of help at Cabela’s.

Young Love

Last weekend Liam’s girlfriend Maggie came to visit. Maggie wears the pants in their relationship, and Liam likes it that way.

I kept overhearing Maggie say stuff like, “Hand over the truck and no one gets hurt.”

At first Liam tried reasoning with her, but Maggie made it very clear that she wasn't in the mood for his games.

And then inevitably, every 10 minutes or so, she karate chopped him in the neck or head butted him in the stomach, repeatedly finding some way to wrestle him to the ground.

Liam spent a good part of the weekend wearing a very scared look on his face, and even now if I come near him too quickly his mouth opens wide and his eyes start to close like he’s going to his happy place.

It’s very sweet to see how much he misses his girlfriend already.

Happy Halloween

If I Had a Nickel...

...for every time somebody asked me if Liam’s dad has red hair, I would be rich enough to buy at least two packs of Skittles. Is it really that uncommon for a brown-haired girl and a blond-haired boy to have a red-haired baby? I used to take the time to explain, “No, he’s blond, but three of Liam’s four great-grandmas have red hair, and I’ve heard that it’s pretty common for red hair to skip generations.” That got old pretty fast, though, and it turns out that no one really cares about the genetics involved in Liam’s hair color.

I decided to take matters into my own hands. Do you think people will stop asking questions now?

Real Ultimate Power

Would you believe me if I told you that Halloween is Ben’s least favorite holiday? It's true. Seriously, what’s not to love about playing dress-up and getting free candy?

This year I thought it would be fun to make Halloween 1% fun for Ben, so I did what any good wife would do and made him a ninja costume.

While researching ninjas on the Internet, I came across all kinds of useful information, including this gem. It's so great to finally know how to make a ninja mask out of a t-shirt.

Ripping Me Off 5 Cents at a Time

Why do I always buy the cheapest kind of onion and always get charged for the more expensive kind? And if it bugs me so much, why don’t I bring it up when the check-out lady types in the produce number? Probably because the difference between one onion at $ .44/lb and one onion at $ .77/lb is like 5 cents and not worth the time it takes to listen to my sad story, insert a key, void the old price, and enter the new price.

Yesterday I tried to work the system. I picked out a $ .77/lb onion and thought, “Ha HA! Maybe today they’ll charge me for the $ .44/lb kind, since they obviously can’t tell the difference.”

I watched hopefully as the check-out lady typed in the number, and then the amount popped up on the screen—$1.19/lb.

Unbelievable.

I Married a Whole Family of Nerds

Last night we had dinner with Ben’s extended family, and we were in charge of bringing dessert. We brought something called Six Layer Surprise. It's these cookie-ish bars with chocolate chips, coconut, walnuts, etc.

On our way home from dinner, Ben’s cousin Jason called to find out whether there was coconut in the dessert. Normally he gets a rash when he eats coconut, but he didn’t get one last night so he was wondering if he had outgrown his allergy.

Jason ended the phone call with, “Well, thanks for bringing the three factorial layer surprise.”

So clever…and yet, so nerdy.