What Are The Chances?

Ben lost his job a few weeks ago, so he has spent a good part of this month e-mailing his resumé to the world. He's been applying for jobs mostly in Utah, but also a few in California and Colorado since that's where our parents are.

So I've been looking at real estate in California and Colorado, just for fun.

Yesterday I found a house in Colorado that looked like it might be our dream house. It had lots of open space on the main floor and it was completely outdated, so I would get to pick my own upgrades.

I told Ben about my "dream house," and then asked him to come look at the photos online. He asked, "What's the address?" and I told him. Then he said, "I used to live in that house."

You Know You're Originally From California But Most Recently From Utah If...

1) You make Jell-o, but then 2) When you put it in the fridge, you move everything else off that shelf because if there's an earthquake in the next four hours, something's going to land in the Jell-o.

Pigtails!

There's something about putting pigtails in your baby girl's hair for the first time that makes her suddenly so grown up.



It reminds me of Liam's first haircut. It's totally blowing my mind that in three days I'll have a 10-month-old. A 10-MONTH-OLD!

New Tricks for the New Year

In the past 24 hours, Eliza has rolled onto her belly and fallen asleep there three out of three times. She has also woken up with a stinky diaper three out of three times.

Coincidence? I think not.

Happy New Year!

Feeling Crafty

Sometimes I get made fun of for getting all of my ideas off the Internet. But why should I waste time thinking up my own ideas when other people have posted their much better ideas for people like me to copy?

Here are some things I’ve copied lately.

For my bathroom:


For my baby:


For my neighbors:


For my front door:


For my young women:

Liposuction: The New White Teeth

In Utah right now we have radio ads for a new kind of non-invasive liposuction—a procedure so easy that you can go back to work the next day.

First you could get white teeth for a fee; now you can get skinny for a fee.

Am I going to be the last chubby girl with yellow teeth left on the planet?

Mother of the Year

Yesterday I got Eliza up from her nap, only to find that she was holding a piece of a petrified roll that I had given her the night before at dinner. Yikes!

Then, I was telling Ben about it at dinner last night. I ended with something dramatic like, “She could have died!”

Liam became curious at this point, and started asking questions. After he figured out we were talking about Eliza and a piece of a roll, he asked, “And then she died?”

The poor kid would have been traumatized if he knew what the word “died” meant.

Happy Halloween!

From Ozzy,


the dragon and ladybug,


and our little pet spiders.

The Glass Is Half Full

Liam came down with the flu last night, so he had to miss his preschool’s field trip to the fire station this morning.

I was feeling really sorry for him, so I called my dad to get some pity. But the best he could come up with was, “At least you probably won’t get hit by a tsunami, and if you do, you’re up on the hill so you might be safe.” And then, after a short pause, “I don’t know where the tsunami will come from, but if it comes from the Pacific, just know that your mother and I loved you guys.”

A few minutes later I instant messaged Schmath to see if she had any sympathy for Liam, but all she said was, “At least he’s not allergic to hamburgers.”

Chameleon Eyes

My brother, Jeff, recently moved to a tiny town on the border of Canada, because apparently he was sick of sunshine and civilization. We’re going to visit him this Christmas so we’ll always be grateful for our mild Utah winters.

Jeff called today while he and his wife were on their way to spinning lessons. “Really?” I asked. “The town’s too small for a gym, so someone gives private spinning lessons?” But actually, they just bought a spinning wheel and now they’re learning to spin wool. I said, “Wait…do you have sheep?” He answered, “No, but it’s a good thing to have, you know, in case we ever get some sheep.”

I asked him how cold it would be when we came for Christmas, and he answered, “It will probably be in the -20s, but then it could also be as warm as 0, so definitely bring your swim suits.”

Since we’ll be so close to Canada, we decided to get passports for Liam and Eliza so we can cross the border to go ice skating on the world’s biggest rink or spend a day in Montreal. But when I filled out the passport applications, I had to pick an eye color for Eliza. I don't think Eliza's eyes have made a final decision on color yet, but it's hard to tell which way they're going. Some days they're green; other days they're brown; sometimes they're even a little blue-ish.

What color would you have picked?








I went with gray.