Burt and His Bees

Remember, back in the ‘80s, when kids would show up for swimming lessons with a solid white nose because their sunscreen had zinc in it? I used to think those kids were so cool.

I recently got the lip balm version of that sunscreen.

It doesn’t contain zinc, but it somehow leaves my lips looking ‘80s-lifeguard cool. I really shouldn’t leave the house in it because I look like a clown, but it tastes so minty fresh I can’t help putting it on 30 times a day. It’s like chewing gum without having to move my teeth.

I can’t wait until somebody makes lip balm that tastes like cookie dough ice cream. I’ll be able to just stop eating all together.